Coming out a hard thing to do
Delonte West didn’t say it when he returned to the Cleveland Cavaliers last week after a leave of absence to treat the effects of depression and mood swings.
But he, like Vin Baker and Kendall Gill and Dennis Rodman and Brian Williams and Ricky Berry and Chamique Holdsclaw and Jason Caffey and many more-and many now still reluctant to come out of their dark closet-believe they know what people are thinking, really, what most of their coaches and teammates are thinking, if they acknowledge suffering from depression.
“You’re making $4 million and you are professional athlete. It’s the American dream. And, oh, by the way, the country is going into the crapper and people are losing their jobs all over the place and they’re losing their homes and their retirement money and they can’t get health insurance. And you’re depressed! I’d gladly be depressed for $4 million a year. Gimme a break!”
A break is what they want, and what they need, but what is so difficult to get from the doubting glances, the stigma that still goes with it in society in general. And especially the macho world of professional sports. The general notion is athletes get compensated so well and everyone would want the jobs they have, so they have to put up with the booing and pressure and demands and public critiques. C’mon, it’s $5 million or $10 million. Or more. Per year!
Though I’ve often sat courtside with fellow reporters and asked them to work with maybe 20,000 people behind them yelling, “Verb, verb, verb you idiot!”
But it’s way more than that.
There are all sorts of theories about mental illness in athletes that include the stress to perform they are under along with the scrutiny that goes back to high school days, the vagabond lifestyle of living on the road or being traded that removes the solid home foundation, childhood trauma, like Chicago prep basketball player Leon Smith who was a ward of the state and lived on the streets at times, and head injuries from playing active sports.
But it’s not so easily identified.
Those dark moods, feelings of helplessness, inability to perform are also tied up in brain and chemical reactions in the body that don’t come up on your handy MRI.
A few years ago John Amaechi, who played for the Orlando Magic and Utah Jazz, announced he was gay in a book that described what he said were the prejudices against him by fellow players and coaches because of being gay in the macho world of professional athletics. I have no doubt there were some incidents. But I’d suggest “coming out” as a depressed man or woman in pro sports is as difficult or more so because there doesn’t appear to be any behavioral difference. Sometimes someone seems just to be acting like a jerk.
You know what, the heck with him!
Gill experienced that when he was with the Seattle Supersonics. And here is a really, really tough guy and true gentleman. After Gill’s NBA career ended, he became a professional boxer. He is a martial arts expert. There is rarely a room he’s been in during his life in which he wasn’t the toughest guy, if also often the most gentle.
But he was sleepless in Seattle.
He took a five-day leave from the team after suffering bouts of insomnia and overwhelming anger as he says his coach continued to mock and bertate him for his dark, moody behavior.
”Just when I thought I’d gotten out from that cloud of being labeled the guy who wasn’t happy, George (Karl) would push me right back,” Gill said after being traded to New Jersey. “Have you seen ‘Godfather III’? Al Pacino had paid all of his business partners off, then right after that he says, ‘Just when I think I’m out, they pull me right back in.’ ”
West talked about similar feelings on his return last week, inexplicable anger toward a referee in a team scrimmage and self destructive behavior. Like many athletes with similar issues, West told Cleveland reporters the playing was the easy part.
“You kind of hide behind the personality that’s created by the fans or the media,” he said. “But we’re still people, too. Besides the fame and the finances, you still have to deal with emotional and family situations on a daily basis just like everybody else. In the gym, I’ve always found peace.”
Ever hear the old cliché about money can’t buy happiness.
It probably was said by the first celebrity to suffer from depression.
The web site realmentalhealth.com lists these famous people among those supposedly known to have suffered from depression: Abraham Lincoln, Audrey Hepburn, Boris Yeltsin, Brittany Spears (yes, we assumed), Buzz Aldrin, Charles Darwin, Dick Cavett, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Halle Berry, Harrison Ford, Jim Carrey, John Denver, Isaac Newton, Marie Osmond, Mark Twain, Mike Wallace, Rod Steiger, Sheryl Crow, Tennessee Williams, Winston Churchill and Woody Allen.
Though it’s probably more difficult in sports to admit it and have it understood.
Such was the Super Bowl mystery a few years back when Barret Robbins of the Oakland Raiders took off on the day of the Super Bowl and later was openly condemned by some teammates. The gregarious football analyst and former star quarterback, Terry Bradshaw, has talked openly about his inability to cope away from the game unt il taking medication for depression. Miami running back Ricky Williams left the game and was treated for a social anxiety disorder.
The problem athletes often have is peers cannot accept that failure to cope. Sort of when the going gets tough the tough get going kind of thinking. C’mon, man, snap out of it and play, they’ll hear, or expect to hear.
So they usually don’t say much.
Often there is a burial in harmful substances, like drugs or alcohol.
Baker was a four-time All Star with the Milwaukee Bucks and Seattle Supersonics and was widely known around the NBA to have a drinking problem. Coaches, teammates and management blamed him and his staggering career when the alcohol abuse continued. At points, Baker even tried to say he suffered from depression and alcoholism wasn’t the biggest problem. Eventually, he received treatment. But his peers could identify and understand alcoholism better than depression. They could see a drunk guy. No one could see a brain out of control.
Often we dismiss it as merely erratic behavior or a “goofy” guy, like Ron Artest or Rodman.
Stop coddling them, sympathesizers often are told.
But it’s an illness that shouldn’t be seen as weakness of character or treated like a cold that will eventually go away, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. People who suffer from depression cannot merely pull themselves together and get better without treatment.
There was Berry, a promising forward for the Sacramento Kings, who committed suicide at 25, Brian Williams, later known as Bison Dele, who walked away from a lucrative contract at 30 and later was believed to have been murdered by his brother, who then committed suicide and Bill Robinzine, who played mostly for the old Kansas City/Omaha Kings and committed suicide.
I asked an NBA coach about this the other day and he didn’t have any good answers.
“More and more players are suffering from depression,” he said. “They just don’t get treatment. Then they get down and start (blaming).”
I’m not sure I have any good answers, either. We like to belittle and make fun of erratic or unproductive behavior in sports. It’s not always depression. Some of them are jerks and slackers. But some are hurting, and I wish there were an MRI for that.
Good luck, Delonte. You’ve dealt with the hardest part.
3sixD Said,
October 19, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
Wow, outstanding article. I never really thought these guys went through depression. Amazing to see a guy like Delonte who lives my ultimate dream actually suffers from the same depression i battle on daily, weekly or yearly basis.
This article is huge for people like myself, it just makes it easier knowing you’re not the only one going through it. Many thanks to Delonte and everyone for speaking up so that others might find help also. Keep your head up Delonte and keep the ones that really love you close. You’re living the dream dude keep this in mind everyday, positive perspective is the key.
Peace.
jack Said,
October 19, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
Chamique Holdcslaw is in perfect shape - actually play in Poland /Wisla Krakow/ and euroligue -check http://www.fibaeurope.com/cid_KNce8jInH7Qj1EsyH5rjn2.compID_jr6ZiXqeGhMBtfq1yxqV83.html
-last year Lotos Gdynia /Poland/
Dmx1 Said,
October 19, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
Great article, interesting read. You really never hear too much about the dark side of the off the court issues so this was good to read. Often times you think some of these athletes just have attitude problems when in actuality they are going through the same things that we do on a day-to-day basis.
Thanks -
Sool Said,
October 19, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
The high level to perform is very demanding. From a lower level of everyday life, it is very hard to understand. Normal folks can change jobs, cut expenses, etc. What Delonte needs to realize is that he doesnt need the NBA to validate him as a person, or what type of player to be to have a long career. Everybody whats to be like Mike. Guess what?? You dont have to be. Rick Bruson is a prime example. Played long enough to get a NBA pension and made enough to live the rest of his life off of. Jerome “Pooh” Allen played in the league but couldnt get a run outside of a couple of teams. He ended up playing over seas and making a means to a end. So Delonte, you cant do for everyone make sure you are happy. GOD BLESS YOU BROTHER!!!
Big Dilla Said,
October 19, 2008 @ 10:06 pm
‘But I’d suggest “coming out” as a depressed man or woman in pro sports is as difficult or more so…’ (than ‘coming out’ in regards to homsexuality)
Are you kidding???? Or are you living in La La Land?
I fully understand the harsh stigma of admitting mental illness of any kind, but “coming out of the closet” is saying goodbye to any career in professional team sports in America.
sid Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 6:38 am
delonte is a hero to many and is all the more courageous for what he did just stopping depression in its track and seeking help when he needed it and i expect him to play better because of it and possibly help cleveland win it all this year. GO CAVS and GOOD LUCK Delonte
Spz Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 6:47 am
@BD
Sorry, but that’s exactly the kind of misunderstanding that gets thrown at someone who’s depressed to make them feel even worse about things.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you skipped over most of the article. . . it’s somewhat simplistic to say that the loss of a career in professional team sports is the litmus test to how difficult either admission is.
I have two friends - both have ‘come out’ - one suffers from depression,. . the other is gay. BOTH suffer from admission, and they suffer DIFFERENTLY.
My depressed friend admitted that he used to go home and just cry for no reason, feel extreme lonliness, think about suicide and amongst many other things he went, and still goes thru, one of the problems is that people assume because he’s so “happy and funny all the time and has a solid job and a great family” just cant POSSIBLY mean he suffers from depression in the privateness of his life. People who misunderstand his pain only makes it worse. I’ve known him for over 20 years and only NOW has he summoned the balls to talk about it. One of the problems with admitting to depression is that people arent necessarily going to treat you any differently. . .maybe even worse in some circumstances. You might not lose your job, but no ones going to make it any easier for you or heaven forbid even try to understand the issues.
Contrast that with my gay friend. . at least he’s had the proverbial ‘weight lifted off his shoulders’ to tell his friends about it. . if anything, he feels a whole lot better about it and can now talk to people about it. . for someone who’s depressed, there’s no such comfort in ‘coming out’.
Now, im not saying that depression is worse or harder, all im saying is that its certainly, definitely NOT so much easier. They’re BOTH hard admissions to deal with. . .
As for your generalised comment that you understand the harsh stigma of admitting mental illness of ANY kind. . .dont get me started on my friend who has just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. . all her ‘friends’ now treat her like some pyscho who will lose it at any time, her boyfriend broke up with her cos he’s just not willing to deal with something like this and even when she’s getting better her family still insist she’s not and that she still nuts.
Sorry, but i think the only one in La La Land is you. . .this is a fantastic article that should better inform people and correct misconceptions.
space Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 8:09 am
cool story.
all 800 million little details about why a guy had a bad game never come out. as a professional you can’t have a personal problem and them avoid the media… muchless lose your temper when one reporter strikes a nerve. sad part is i bet this gets the least amount of commentary. this is the truth about people in the nba, nfl, around the block. everywhere. –and depression is just the beginning.
Petey Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 8:19 am
Part of the problem here is that it’s often good for NBA stars to be somewhat unbalanced.
Michael Jordan seems borderline psychotic, with gambling addictions, and all around jerkiness.
Same for someone like Allen Iverson.
But as basketball players, that’s been good to them.
Contrast with someone like Vince Carter, who seems very well adjusted, but is missing the ‘assassin instinct’ that keeps him from being as much of a success as his physical gifts would permit. And that lack is seemingly due exactly to the fact that he’s a bit TOO well adjusted.
—–
In many ways, I think Bison Dele was a success story. Here was a guy who battled with depression as a pro athlete, made enough money to live comfortably the rest of his life, and walked away on his own terms.
Fans didn’t understand what Dele was doing at the time, but in light of this article, shouldn’t we say that he made the right choice? What happened to him afterwards wasn’t due to his depression problems.
If NBA life was contributing to his unhappiness, walking away with a full bank account was his correct option.
Moe Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 10:16 am
Very moving stuff!!! I live Boston Celtics Basketball and to see one of the xceltics suffering like this really hurts. I’ve been hiding my illness for 30 years and when i do try to tell some of my friends they dont believe me. I’ve made a name for myself coming from this small town i live in as a x basketball star and now in the political arena, but know one knows how bad i suffer everyday. I had a great chance to go professional, but i was too afraid because the anxiety was overwhelming. I pray for the mri machine for mental health.
Thank You Delonte West
Your friend
Moe
Piswgorilla Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 10:29 am
There is an MRI that is being used to study depression - along with other tools: it’s called functional MRI.
Interesting to know that Karl showed such an asshole behavior. I guess he paid (and continues to pay) some price with his son’s and his case of cancer.
Petey Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 10:45 am
“Interesting to know that Karl showed such an asshole behavior. I guess he paid (and continues to pay) some price with his son’s and his case of cancer.”
Beyond being an incredibly sleazy thing for you to say, Piswgorilla, it’s missing an important point.
Heartless as it may seem, Karl’s job was not to take care of Kendall Gill as a human being. Karl’s job was to win basketball games. If winning games meant trying to push Gill in a way that didn’t end up helping Gill as a human being, that’s the breaks of being in the highly paid, highly demanding profession of an NBA player.
Gill’s condition may well have meant that he was not up to the demands of the profession. Phil Jackson is currently needling Lamar Odom to try to get more performance out of him. If we find out years from now that Odom had clinical depression, would that mean that Jackson is an “asshole”? No. Jackson is just trying to do his job.
Piswgorilla Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 11:54 am
to Petey:
More than in any other league, NBA coaches are called upon to be as shrewd as possible in managing psychologically their players at an individual and team level. If someone cannot perceive nuances in the moods of his players and does not have any constructive ways to try to help them become effective again is seriously lacking as an NBA coach.
From the article it sounds that Karl acted as typical former jock himself taunting his player.
Further, from what we have seen til now Phil Jackson is probably the shrewdest of them all in that respect.
The characterization “sleazy” was uncalled for and is returned to you. You also have to educate yourself further about the NBA before starting commenting about it.
Petey Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 1:02 pm
“From the article it sounds that Karl acted as typical former jock himself taunting his player. Further, from what we have seen til now Phil Jackson is probably the shrewdest of them all in that respect.”
Seriously, have you been reading the pre-season press reports? What PJ has been doing with Lamar Odom can’t be called anything other than “taunting”. And further, PJ has frequently taunted his players throughout his coaching career. It’s one of the most frequently used tricks in his bag.
What if we find out ten years down the line that Lamar Odom or Smush Parker had clinical depression? Would that make PJ an asshole in a way that makes it cosmically just for him and his relatives to get cancer?
Karl has done better than average throughout his career in getting the most from his players. Maybe he mishandled Gill. Maybe he didn’t. Neither of us have enough information to make that determination. But I don’t think you’re fully considering that perhaps Gill’s condition made him unfit for the demanding profession he was in, no matter how a coach handled him.
Mark Norman Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 2:17 pm
It’s easier to talk about acceptance for people who are sucessful financially and vested in the community, socially accpeted persons with their own network of friends validating their egos. Truth is, many mentally problematic people don’t have any of these things. They either posess low paying jobs or don’t have one at all, nor do they posess many if any real friends. If you ran into somebody like this they might seem weird, a little rude or annoying, basically undesirable. People are people and there response to troubled individuals like this sadly will probably never change. Still, helping those people with mental problems who yet can function and cross the bridge to societal accpetance and friendship is a good thing. I just wonderabout all those poor homeless souls and low income firendless misfits who will never have a nice life in this social status conscious, money driven world.
stuckey Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
Depression has been around since the beginning of man.
The real scary part of depression in this world today, is the free flow of addictive drugs prescribed for depression and anxiety. You think the feelings of depression is bad, look out for the blackhole they call modern medicine.
tp Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
Hah.
I’ve had relatives with chronic depression, and bring in more modern medicine I say. It’s one of the hardest health conditions to battle, and modern medicine is one of the biggest helps you can receive.
stuckey Said,
October 21, 2008 @ 8:59 am
Maybe I should not have used the term modern medicine. But prescription drugs for depression and anxiety may help short term but the create a long term condition of drug addition. Even worse they really never cure depression and anxiety, they only temporarily help with symptons, and than once withdrawel hits, the symptons get worse.
thought he meant Said,
October 22, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
i think he is implying that delonte west is gay and that is the reason why he is depressed, am i right? ive heard that before, and also about mike miller.
J Said,
October 24, 2008 @ 11:06 am
I beg to differ that most current treatments for depression and anxiety cause “drug addition [sic]“. There’s a huge difference between physical dependence and addiction. Addiction involves compulsive behavior to keep using the substance in question, no matter the consequences. Dependence is a physical need for the drug, period. Is a diabetic addicted to insulin? What about my father-in-law and his blood pressure medicine? The fact is modern medicine rarely “cures” anything. At best, it manages conditions and makes the lives of patients more “normal”. NOBODY should decide without medical supervision to go off prescribed medication on their own. These drugs are not sugar pills. There are consequences for going off many medications but can they can be managed by a doctor.
I think it’s great that athletes like West are coming “out” about mental health issues. I suspect that it’s not that there are more mental health cases out there now but that they are just being diagnosed more often. Behavior that used to be dismissed as “weird” is getting a second look because people are more aware now. I hope that what happened to Pistol Pete in the 70’s wouldn’t happen today. who knows?
ae Said,
October 24, 2008 @ 6:01 pm
hey sam,
just heard the news with bulls.com. congrats and glad to have u back in chicago!
Gilles Vaudois Said,
October 25, 2008 @ 4:54 am
Lamar Odom played some of his finest games last year, under Phil Jackson.
We’re talking about a 9-time champion as a coach, 2-time as a player.
The guy made Luc Longley and Bill Wennington look good.
You see Lamar Odom, with that body and all the effort that he gave throughout his career to get to this point, and he’s not producing like he could.
So what do you do ? You try to get him to produce more. And that has to come from within, the drive to succeed, and sometimes it takes a Phil Jackson to get that 7-year veteran who still hasn’t got it to finally get it out of himself.
And yeah, it’s awfully difficult for a coach to find new ways to get it done, for the good of the player and for the team, to finally win a championship.
Somewhere, somehow, Lamar Odom has to get tough. And if this guy right here, who everybody depends on to get to the top, caves in because of depression, when he could be the difference between a finalist and a champion, after 20 years of bouncing a basketball and perfeting his body and game, that’s lame.
DEPRESSION « COACH’S NETWORK Said,
October 25, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
[...] basketball writer has an outsatanding piece on ‘depression’. A must read for all at HoopsHype.com Delonte West didn’t say it when he returned to the Cleveland Cavaliers last week after a leave of [...]
QuentinC Said,
October 25, 2008 @ 2:11 pm
Stuckey, you’ve obviously been spending too much time with Tom Cruise. Do you have any factual basis at all for bashing anti-depressants? There are millions of people who function perfectly well because they take anti-depressants, and could not function at all without them. J is right on target in comparing them to drugs that treat “physical” diseases.
Irresponsible and completely uniformed statements like Tom Cruise’s blather do so much more harm. Stuckey, don’t join that chorus of intolerance.
ML Said,
October 26, 2008 @ 9:42 pm
A timely and necessary article.
The money issue I don’t understand. Simply because a man makes a lot of money does not exclude him from depression. The two are not related. Money doesn’t solve problems. End of story.
A lot of this comes down to chemical imbalances. The right treatment and support system can get things back on track. Here’s hoping things work out for Delonte.
daveh Said,
October 27, 2008 @ 1:13 pm
“stuckey Said,
October 20, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
Depression has been around since the beginning of man.”
Stuckey’s scientific analysis into the history of mental disorders is absolutely correct. Obviously, those Geico cavemen suffer from depression.
lazy Said,
November 12, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
an issue i appreciate reading about and dont see often enough. great article Sam.