HoopsHype.com NBA Blogs - Gabe Muoneke

The only thing negative about being in Puerto Rico is Family Guy, my favorite show today, is in Spanish. You can imagine my discontent when I patiently sat through the agonizing dry humor of King of the Hill, only to have my garnered excitement thrown out of my window when I heard Stewie say, “idiota,” instead of “you bovine lummox.” Even though I can understand, it’s just not as funny sans the New England/English accent Seth McFarlen masters. But I’ll get over it. I got Slingbox (an overseas baller’s best friend… Get on it if you already have not).

Moving forward… I suppose I owe somewhat of an explanation as to where the bloody hell I’ve been. The best way I can describe it is, the rebounding position between the top of the key and half court. That’s right good ol’ “no man’s land.” Or just plain ol’ purgatory. After China, I just couldn’t bring myself to travel very far to play. Yes, I broke my hand but I was cleared over a month ago. I just kept talking to teams and never pulling the trigger on any deals. The CBA experience can do that to you. To get into every nick and cranny of what that was like would just be futile negativity, so let’s just forget it happened. Please.

I just read, thought, played with kids, read and read some more. The last thing I should ever do is have too much time to think. Why? Because so many things I tried to avoid thinking about, I actually find myself considering. I remember reading my boy Paul Shirley’s blog about a year ago. In it he was talking about retiring and I thought he was just thinking too much. Thing is, he could still play and I don’t even think he was 30 at the time. So why would he retire? Well, Paul my friend, I get it. Not that I am thinking of retirement but I can see why one would.

I think I was so deep in my own weird mental, I knew the only place I could go play right now was a place I would actually enjoy, so… Soy con boricuas, pa’s k 2 lo sepa! ( I picked that chant up nine years ago when I first started here. Can’t separate it from the island).

When I’m out here, I am a fan and a student all in one. I watch more TV here than anywhere else I play for obvious reasons… I think. So I watch more ESPN and turn into NBA games and then like a kid, get to try what I see Kobe glide through. Then I proceed to trip over my own Adidas. The mind is willing and the feet are weak.

So as I’m watching ESPN, I hear (blank) say LeBron James is head over heels better than Kobe? What?! Then I catch myself screaming at some electronic visage who can’t hear a word I’m saying. I speculated on it before and now I’m certain… They should add a third commentator on Pardon the Interruption, Stewie Griffin. Just so he can be there to elegantly point out the madness within some of these assessments. LeBron is definitely insane… But Kobe? Did any of you see him turn gamma green and rip his shirt off when Ron Artest pissed him off? Let that sleeping dog sleep.

This is the good time of year. The time I wish I was a basketball commentator. Just so I could get the chance to make Tim Legler and Chuck proud. Ready for my Legler quote of the year? “Guess they don’t get the MSG network down in South Florida.” DAAAAYUM.

And Chuck’s is simple, “that’s terrible.”

Chuck’s accent makes that a classic every time he says it. Although I love playoff time and time for predictions, I concede that I have a rather tattered track record. Well, I did say the Lakers and Jazz would meet in the playoffs, right? So I was off on the round. It’s because they got an Aggie jersey somewhere in the locker room jinxing all the karma.

Anyways here goes. NBA Finals… Lakers vs. Sixers. And Sixers in 7! OK… Now MVP… LeBron just barely edging Brian Cardinal in the tightest race in NBA history. Finals MVP… Kobe. That’s it. No punchline, just Kobe. First pick in 09 draft… Blake Griffin. As much as I hate OU, have you seen that mammoth? Is it just me, or does he not have as much hype as he should? Maybe if his jersey were a bit more burnt orange. He’ll be number 1 unless the team picking needs a point, in which case it’ll be Ricky Rubio (hate to say a told you so… But I did).

I am beyond excited right now with this time of year. No more traveling to the other side of the globe and paying $1,000 for excess luggage (strangely enough, all my excess poundage is food). And no more hustles… Just basketball. I needed this to rejuvenate my mental approach for next season. It’s been a wild ride from France, to Utah, to China. But in the following months I look forward to doing something stable. Too old for this caca. But I’ve said it before and I mean it. This crazy globetrotting has helped me beyond belief. And if it takes the nonsense to open my eyes, I’ll take it now rather than later.

Sorry for the dry blog. It’s just been so long. In turn, I have way too many things to talk about. Rather than bombard your eyes with all the details that flood my brain and confuse many to a point of anger… I’ll just accomadate with the usual. Duh… I like basketball… Duh… I scored a lot. That should satisfy the desired perception of all. My apologies for rockin’ the boat. I’ll keep those who care updated on my PR escapades.

ShalObama!

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I think it’s been a month since my last blog, right? I guess time flies when you’re getting shafted with no vaseline. Seriously, I was waiting for this soap opera I’m experiencing to play itself out. And again, with my morbid sense of humor, it’s been typically funny. I wish I could just sit around a camp fire and tell unadulterated stories of what this stuff is really like, but at this point in my career all I can really do is put down a majority of the puzzle and allow others to put in the missing pieces.

But I think I leave pretty obvious hints. People will always offer his/her assessment of exaggeration. That is why I wish I had like a documentary film crew following me. The reason being; as I walk through this life I would estimate 75 percent of what I experience, I encounter it with one thought in mind: “No one will ever believe this is actually happening.”

Then when they see some poor chap filled to the brim with pressure curse out his Israeli pro league coach on The And1 Show or whatever it’s called, everyone will say: What is wrong with that nut? But seriously, how can you take a guy who probably never left his “hood” talkless of the Country and put him through what he has no shot of comprehending and expect him not to act as ignorant as he is? Ignorance, not as an insult but as a money succubus camping out in your bank account. Because ignorance is expensive. And not only to me.

Is it just me or does it bother anyone else to know that he/she is totally ignorant of a situation that consistently affects one’s existence? Of course if it affects me in no way (I think is rather rare), I choose ignorance. And many prefer the comfort of ignorance.

Where I differ and where my problem lies is I don’t see much that doesn’t affect me. If there is some sort of conspiracy that kills the bees in North America, I find it in some way affects me. Short version, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” I actually believe that. I don’t think the knowledge of certain “shut up and live” secrets suffers me to be some sort of champion against conspiracy in any way. But rather, that knowledge allows me to act accordingly (or simply how I choose how to re-adjust the situation). Let me stop… I get to France, right? Well that’s where the good stops.

And here’s the thing… Moving up the money ladder in Europe I sort of liken to Dante’s stages of hell (thank you, Icee).

When you’re making the lower-end cash, you’re in hell. Being in the bowels of the beast in many ways is easier than the descent to ascent. Why? Well, you know the tormented head sticking out of the ice is right behind the 7/11 right before you get to the giant chewer of man. Basically, you know where everything is and you know what it is. When you’re making 3K a month, it’s all your fault, you suck and we’ll send you home with no money if you say a cross word or make a bad crossover. That’s hell. But during the descent to ascent you get a plethora of challenges you didn’t get in hell.

At this point, somebody will say I’m lying about what I signed for in France and now that I’ve gone through this, I see why. So I won’t talk about the amount but believe me money has everything to do with it. Rather, I’ll just tell you what my old agent (we’re still friends) and all my close friends said when I told them I was considering France (normally for young upcoming careers not really established, but my family in Francafone-ish and well… the money) and this is what they’re offering. Everyone I asked said the exact same thing, “Check the contract again. France doesn’t pay like that.”

What do I know? I’m a Euro neophyte. The echoing statement was, for that much they will give you such a hard time and if you don’t play like Kobe Bryant they will look for a way out of it. Ignorance is bliss my tailpipe. If I had known, they could’ve offered a million.

It began when I got there. “Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

I heard it from everyone from the Coach to the trainer. Since when? You guys can vouch for me right? Haven’t I been 225-230 for a year now? Don’t these guys read HoopsHype.com? I heard it so much I knew it would be an issue. After two weeks of running every piece of fat off my waist, we played a friendly game. Pardon my hesitance to take it seriously. I was distracted by the dude whose jersey was a different color than the rest of his team. That and their legally declared “dwarf” at point guard (Muggsy was Yao Ming to this dude).

After 10 minutes on the court and 4 points for yours truly, 25 team turnovers, a barrage of guys trying to make a name for themselves at the expense of your high-priced head and a 20+ point win (if you can believe it) by our team, I had to endure a five-minute tirade about how I thought I was a superstar. I was a bit taken aback because I had no idea where it came from. As I explained the issue to a friend who played for this team, all he said was, “Told you so, they’re looking for that way out.”

What? I’ve been here two weeks! They said I wasn’t playing hard. Sell that to anyone who follows basketball. Go back to the archives of freaking UT reporting where I was described as “a player oozing talent… but often seems bored.” I didn’t play for Duke. That’s how I play. Then they said I was a shooter and not athletic enough. Not athletic enough?! “Get you Bevo droppings! Half off!” Have they ever even seen me play? Hey Vince, by the way they ask me for your number. Do you mind? Bottom line, they were searching, stretching for anyway to correct the fact that the starting 3 man (me) was their tallest starter. How’s this for stretching? They said I’m not the player that played for Nigeria vs. France in 2006. 2006. Well, they got me on that one. I’m not the player I was in 2006, I’m the player I was 6 months ago with Tau… in 2008. I left the dumbbells in Japan.

Anyway, they had no ammo (at least any that made any sense) so they did what any respectable organization would do… They made something up. According to the French media, after ASVEL was dismantled by 24 by a second division team, the team decided to part ways with me. Wait a second? I wasn’t there. Seriously, they tried to make it seem as getting pancaked by a team with the budget of my groceries was the reason the team decided to buy me out even though I didn’t even travel with the team to the game. Truth is they got reamed all by themselves. Then on top of that, they said “my behavior was deplorable.” What did I do? I wonder if I can sue. Anyway, the only way I wasn’t screwed was with the money I got for three weeks of work.

Ignorance of France cost me money and their ignorance of me cost them as well. Tons of details were left out that simply would flip your tupee. I can’t help but think, how would someone else even more ignorant about Europe than me act? No way can you expect a guy just out of his inner city district to have the slightest idea what he did wrong in this situation. Nothing. You just didn’t know.

We all as a whole don’t know, don’t wanna know, think they know and/or insult those that choose to expand his/her scope of knowledge and understanding. I know for a fact that I don’t know but because I want to know, I ask. I played in Iran and saw a huge dude who could move. Wasn’t great, but I said he should be in the NBA. I was told I was crazy. He signed with the Grizzlies. Isn’t America supposed to hate Iranians as part of the “axis”?

Here’s an mind flipper (at least for me it was). While in the Embassy sector in Dubai, I saw an incredible line wrapped around the U.S. embassy. The guy accompanying me to get my visa in the Iranian embassy told me, “Can you believe all those people are Iranian. They come to Dubai to get U.S. visa ’cause there is no embassy in Iran.” (There is actually a Swedish US interest office there that plays the role).

Before I could say he was lying, he began greeting all the people waiting in Persian and quibbing them about the trouble they’re going to encounter. Dude! What are they doing? They’ll never get visas! Right? The dude looked at me like I was ignorant and said, “They get them. They go through a ton of trouble but most of them do get visas.”

How can that be? I couldn’t get my cousin here from Nigeria with Merlin’s hat and a Swiss account. Don’t call me an idiot for saying what I saw, just ask what if it’s true? And think, how can people from a country that is considered a terrorist state readily and with such confidence attempt to enter the U.S. but a country like Nigeria, whose citizens are absolutely no threat to the US (at least non-419-ily) find literally impossible odds to even visit America?

I’m actually encouraged to see how much I really don’t know. It was very refreshing to see how incredibly nice Persians are and how absolutely nothing there ever made me feel scared. I think there is a lot I don’t know. So rather than say someone is crazy for any perception I just take the info and process it for myself.

Quite often, when one’s beliefs of reality are challenged, it sends us into a tailspin. Like the whole NBA-guys-signing-overseas. One guy made a comment about, “when Brandon Jennings doesn’t get paid.” Remember Dante’s stages of hell? Well, the team he’s on and the money he’s making is not the journey any longer. He’s not even in purgatory. He’s in a mid-level of heaven. He’s getting every penny, my friend. There are clauses with top teams that would make them not paying him the equivalent of the Rockets not paying him. Once you get to “heaven” (big money plus big team) you get paid.

There are a number of things players who are in “heaven” just don’t deal with that the players in purgatory deal with everyday. People accept the money and basketball being impossible to match outside the NBA and for the most part they’d be right. But every once in a while you get some pretty thought-twisting anomalies. Do you realize Josh Childress after taxes makes pretty much the same or more yearly than KG? (Although that might have changed as Josh might be experiencing the same I am with the Euro skydiving).

Let me tell you for no self compliment, there are good players everywhere and even more money in places you’d never imagine. I saw the highest jumping guy I’ve ever seen in person in Syria of all places. I’m telling you, I’ve seen every NBA leaper and they don’t hold a candle to this guy Vincent Jones. This guy is close to seven feet tall and can put his sternum in the rim. How in he11 did he never play in the NBA? I think he makes like half a mil in five months in Afghanistan or something (joking… only a little. I think he’s in KSD).

How about Marcus Haslip? You think they’ll ever let him leave Spain? Christmas, that dude can play. And he has the athletisism of a half horse-half lemur. Please Youtube that guy’s back facing the basket vertical 180 over a guy last year.

I got a new one, he’ll be a first-rounder. A kid I just played with named Bengare is a young KG with no confidence. Give him a coach and 20 pounds and a shiny new NBA contract and you’ll all know him.

You think people hate when you throw a wrench in their universal reality? I’m about to piss Charles Barkley off (he’ll never read this, I hope). He made a statement about no one caring who won the Greek championship as a counter that there was no worry about superstars leaving the NBA to play in Europe. He’s right no-body. LeBron and his crew (Carmelo, Dwyane) and the Monster of Kobe (a crew of his own) are not any-body(s). LeBron especially. Have you seen the company he keeps? What do you think Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Prince of Wales, Sultan of Brunei and whoever else that dude hangs with, care about? Championships? Either Charles doesn’t know (doubtful) or the better explanation is he was doing damage control to maintain control.

Let me break down a possible scenario right now for you. Not knowing will cost everyone who  doesn’t know. LeBron seems to me as someone who knows more than most of us. So I don’t see him losing a penny. How many billionaire owners are in the NBA? Now. How many are in just Russia that just don’t give a damn about money? Fine. LeBron might not really take a deal worth $50 million a year but the mistake he made was giving out the number because now I will bet you there are at least 6 teams preparing their portfolio to present that exact number to LeBron next summer. OK. What if LeBron asked for $40 million in advance and $1 million a month, a private jet, house on the French Riviera and stock options in the owners TV company after his company gets the TV rights to all Euroleague games LeBron plays in? He’d get it. So let me get this straight… The most he can sign for in the NBA is about 6 years, $120million? So that’s what? $60 million over 6 years after taxes approximately? He can make basically that in one year net living as a king in some paradise and then make even more off his comeback to the NBA after one year in Athens, Barcelona or Moscow? And he’s 24. He wouldn’t do that? None of the aforementioned basketball juggernauts would do that? OK. If you say so.

Ignorance has always been my downfall. I knew that team found out Amara Sy was available after I got there and were looking for a way to get him there. And that knowledge kept me from giving them the ammo they were looking for to validate what they did. (Ike’s antics didn’t make the trip back to Houston any more fun). Maybe it’s been the knowledge that I was ignorant is what made situations worse. But if I didn’t know I was duped wouldn’t it just continue to happen? Then I’d probably blame someone else or even worse attribute the consistency of screwage to bad luck. It ain’t bad luck, I’m just as trusting as a three-year-old and as naive (dumb) as a rock. It’s all good. This will end up being better than bad.

To be honest, I felt I signed too quick and for too little in the first place. Not to mention I signed in euros. And if you keep track, the day I signed was one of the, if not the highest, the euro ever was against the dollar. Yeah beer? Please. It has steadily plunged everyday since. I’ve lost a ton! (at least to me) My dumb tail saw the dollar rising this fall and told all my boys, “sign in dollars.” I started doubting my own advice when that thing hit 1.61 to the euro and I thought I was doing my thing when I signed in euros. The rate was dropping so fast, I just stopped looking. So it’s a blessing in disguise. Now I bet you can guess what I’ll sign in next… You guessed it. Yen! Dadgumit. See you in Libya.

Shalom.

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Hmmm. Let’s see. I just don’t seem to know where to begin. It’s probably prudent to remind myself this is a public diary of sorts. With that in mind, it’s just really hard to be insulted and/or angered by any of the negative comments. As much as Gabe would have loved to do a literally pointless back and forth of opinions at a younger age, it just makes more sense to hear what people feel, think and accept it.

So with that I say… I appreciate all the comments, concede a couple to be totally true and as for the rest… I respectfully disagree. I did love the one that talk about my fall as a HoopsHype blogger. I just cracked up. Seriously. Not sarcastically. I told you I have a morbid sense of humor. The ones that excommunicated me for “calling out” NBA players? Wow… I’m like still reeling. A player is a player. Because I play. I just don’t hold any distinction other than fame between NBA players and the guy at the Y telling me I ain’t ish and explaining to everyone in the gym how he should be playing overseas and I shouldn’t. But I suppose it makes sense.

Just read this for a sec… That some 5-foot-8 bonobo basketball analyst who’s never played basketball in his life can come on national TV and say LeBron James is overrated (actually happened) and people will actually give that colon chatter audience… But an actual player who’s basketball exploits has garnered him at least a minute amount of credibility can suggest the decision makers have no basis to unequivocally justify his choices unchallenged and be charged up like that? Pauley (Shirley) told me there’d be days like this. Paul, you told me not to be too honest and you were right but like I said… I just don’t care. As for one losing respect for me… Unfortunate. But I respect you for making them known.

(Sorry so serious… I’ll change it up. I just got back from winning the FIBA Asian Club Championship in Kuwait so you know that was just drained in humorous transpirings).

I’m an equal opportunity ripper. Sorry. I’m not Stephen Smith, but I will offer a non-bias opinion about a player’s basketball skills willfully as long as it doesn’t hurt his way of living. Because believe it or not, I want every brother of mine to get as much money as possible from the guys giving it. Overseas and NBA alike. But does that mean I’ll sit here and write online any different than I would talk to the very guys I mention? Nope.

Funny thing is, I really didn’t say what I really would say in person. But as long as Fox Sports News Radio will keep having me, you’ll eventually hear it. I’m sure that’ll end up being more than a mortal sin. All the guys I mention were intentionally big guys (save one… he was an inside joke. Sorry Joey… Wasn’t really directed at you. I’m sure it doesn’t matter but… Whatever).

I mean, did you guys not read the previous blogs? Did I not mention Reggie Evans was good enough to get me cut from Houston? And DJ (only DJ) translated what I said. Geez! This is getting stupid. Who cares? I’d love to apologize but I’d be lying so I’ll just address two more things and one I’ll pimply transition to the point of this entry. Anyone could use numbers to justify how good I am when compared to others or how bad I suck when used alone, but just because I say what I feel as a basketball fan and have a burning desire to experience a playoff court every time I watch the playoffs (same when I was a kid at my first NBA final series) doesn’t mean I’m bitter. Because if I was a billionaire president of the world tomorrow, I would still see a playoffs game and want to play in it.

However, thanks fan Dr. Phil for the cliche “get over it son” line. That was almost as funny as the hater comment (you might have as well called me a martian. It would have been as warranted and made about as much sense.) But the one comment I truly from the bottom of my heart agreed with and loved and I swear I took as a compliment was the two people commenting about “typical basketball player sense of entitlement” and my ego. See? Those were great. You just gotta love the individuality of people. It makes us all better. What do I deserve? No more or less than the man sitting on the street corner holding up the “will work for food sign.”

If you have ever intentionally hurt someone else (as I have and still do) I feel we are all deserving worse than what we for the most part get. I don’t deserve a damn thing. At least nothing good. That is obvious. But to simplify a basketball player (which often happens) as having a sense of entitlement for stating or believing egotistically what he’s worth is presumptuous and naive. I’ve got numerous friends overseas and NBA that always made statements about how good they were and how much they were going to get and yada yada yada. I was always the realistic one saying garbage like “Yeah, I know I’m good but I’m just happy to even be here.” I was the one staying humble and patiently absorbing all the nonsense people wanted me to accept and believe. While if you heard my boys, you’d have thought they were out of their minds (and at the time I’d have agreed).

Here’s what I’ve learned and I wish I learned it earlier. Humility’s only place on a basketball court is with refs and off it. Everyone of those friends of mine are successful. And, for the most part, got the exact deals that everyone said they were crazy for saying they were worth. (Did you get that? Worth. Not deserve). So when one comment sarcastically complimented me on my ego… Finally. It was the first time and about time. I have yet to see a hooper worth a damn that doesn’t have an ego. Two guys were close. Matt Carroll and Dirk Nowitzki. Matt is one of the kindest, most humble NBAer I know. Keep that belief about him when he pump fakes your teammate with that deadly jumper threat and comes baseline. Aww, here comes cool, kind, friendly, Billy Hoyle, shooter Matt coming in for a layup and boom! Yeah, he laid it up but he tried to dunk on you. Then gives you that look like, “Yep. Try it again. You’d better just let me shoot.” Or Dirk… He really got me. You get on the court and he’s just so unassuming. You push, he gives way. You bump, he falls. You give him a snide remark. He responds with a completely disarming statement, “Yeah, my feet are small for my size man, balance is an issue.” Then Mr. Hyde humble nice guy transforms into rip your nuts off, dot you in the eye Jekyll who just nailed a three when his team was up by 1 with 30 seconds left. Then he runs down the court pulling jersey laughing at you, tongue waggin’, asking you “What the (fudge) did you think this was?

I wish I had an ego when I was younger. That is believing I was better than everyone else not trying to make everyone believe it. Trying to get everyone to believe it is completely futile. I mean, look… Some clown actually said LeBron was overrated (again… really happened). So while I participated in the “I’ll make ‘em all see,” all my colleagues took the “I am” approach. I think it served them well. I started late. I went to Division 1 in Turkey my second job out of school and scored 39 in my first friendly game off the plane. I played in the Spanish League and averaged 14 when I was 24 years old. I got to start an NBA preseason game with the Rockets (don’t care what you say, it at least says something). I did a lot of things that sure in the big picture means nothing, but on the small scale (my own reality) should have acquired me a bigger ego, earlier. And I’m not just talking players here. Coaches, teachers, politicians (especially politicians. Otherwise how could they ever take themselves seriously)… All must have egos to be good at what they do. People will have enough criticism to keep them humble as long as he/she is listening. So why join the masses? To appease the public’s desire?

So to answer your question, if I ever thought I just wasn’t good enough for the NBA… Nope. But again. I appreciate your opinion. No matter how people try to down what I do or have done, my growing ego has done me a lot better than humility in basketball. You know like people insulting the South Korean league or the fact that I played there. Or I’m sure I’ll have the occasional quib about the competition in Kuwait. But having an ego while playing on the court is absolutely essential. I agree some of the places I’ve played are laughable, but when I played in Italy, Spain and Turkey my pockets were empty. Is it logical to continue at the level everyone respects if the only benefit is how it’s perceived? Think of how bad it would be if I approached playing in places like those small markets with humility and didn’t win or dominate the league… I’d have been done years ago. Laughed off the court. Is it hard to leave your ego on the court? Unfortunately it is. Especially when you are still talking about or somehow involved in basketball even though you’re not actually playing at the time.

Like on my way back from Kuwait, I really felt like such a prick. I caught myself tripping about how my team bought an economy class ticket returning to the States. Then when I reminded the GM of my contract, he quickly bought another on the same reference number. However he forgot to mention I had to actually pick up the paper ticket in Kuwait. Otherwise I was still on economy. I didn’t figure this out until I got to the airport. And even thought Emirates saw I had a business class ticket reserved, they “couldn’t” put me in business without the paper ticket which had been sitting in a Kuwaiti travel office for two days. Yeah! So now I was stuck to travel 17 hours straight to Houston from Dubai.

Quick…

Have you ever traveled to Dubai? Better question. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not feel like a sheik when taking a first or business class Emirate Airline vacation to Dubai? People, everyone must do it once. Those people make you feel like you actually deserve the treatment they offer you (for the price, you might have an argument). I mean their first class is actually an upgrade. Not like first class now on local flights, where you pay $200 extra for your peanuts to be warmed in a microwave and served on a glass plate. All the while, flight attendants and economy passengers alike look at you like a dumb decrepit camel for paying for that upgrade. Hardi har har.

Back…

But after traveling so often to these areas where every janitor to sheik feels like a prince, I actually started to believe, “I can’t travel in economy… It’s too cramped… I’m too tall… I play ball…” What the? Didn’t I travel economy four years at the University of Texas? And wasn’t I bigger then? But they do make those seats too narrow. I think they were designed by Kate Moss. It doesn’t help the fact the dude behind me doesn’t seem to know if the touch screen doesn’t work, the remote cleverly place inside the arm of your seat will let you watch any Arabic altered version of our favorite U.S. films. So your Woody Woodpecker impression at the back of my headrest can cease. Or that as I’m sleeping I get a cute little tickle under my chin… “He he…stop it. He he…stop it.” Oh I’m sorry I thought that was my daughter waking me up to make her pancakes. Didn’t know you could manage to fit your foot between the seats enough to rest your bigtoe in my beard, ma’am. Thanks. Can’t really complain to anyone about old Hagen and Daz, lady. Who would I complain to? The flight attendant, you say? The same lady I requested a napkin from and her response was, “Oh there are napkins in the bathroom you economy class animal.” Then she spit on my shoe and slapped me. OK, that last part was made up but she did tell me to get it from the bathroom. Which was no biggie, I guess. Other than the fact that Ray Lewis‘ twin sister just came out of there and left the door open to proud-fully astonish discourage me with her toiletrious achievements. Thanks, but I’ll just use my jacket.

So I guess I’ll add trying to leave my ego on the court with my offseason plans. This offseason the goal is to turn myself into a silverback. If you remember, I have been debating whether or not to completely eliminate meat from my diet. I haven’t eating beef, chicken or pork in over a year. But I have been exploring the whole evolution thing with Bantus probably being better off eating the meat they’ve evolved to eat. For example, goat, ram, sheep… Which I still think is better than the western domesticated animals. But I’ve gone ahead and decided never to eat any form of meat again. I don’t consider fish meat but even fish I will limit. So that’s my journey this summer as to see if I can find the fountain of youth and play this upcoming season like a contract year. But I promise thinking of me as an egotistical, whining hater might not be a beneficial assumption when meeting me in person. But if you’ll never know me and it serves you, by all means keep it up. Although I appreciate the ones advicing me, I actually know or have heard before what you’re telling me. Even so I ask for the comments to continue. You never know what I’ll learn. If you really really, really just think I’m a terrible person for saying something questionable, again, e-mail. It costs what one is willing to pay for it, it’s worth what one gets. I deserve nothing good. I give all well wishes and to the ones that gave me the ego subject, muchisimos gracias. If I am really the way you say I am, maybe this year it will translate to a man’s worth and by God’s grace I will not get what I deserve.

Shalom.

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