Off-the-wall thoughts… and KB24
Did you know the atom, the little bitty things that make us up, are over 97 percent empty space? I heard that and couldn’t believe it so… I looked it up and read that as small as an atom is (millionths of a millimeter), its center (proton) is one-hundered thousand time smaller than the atom itself. Then the electron(s) that orbit(s) the center are a thousand times smaller than the center itself. The rest of the atom is just empty space. So wait a second… If I’m made up of atoms and the atom is pretty much non-existent… Am I really here? Crack anyone? These are the kinds of unbelievably unorthodox things I ponder in the offseason. I really don’t do much thinking about basketball at all. I start off with some off-the-wall thought or question like the aforementioned and it somehow comes full circle and changes something profoundly in my game and life that everyone else just does naturally. Beeeee-cuz I’m a hard head and I like to complicate 2+2. Five! (Stop it, Bird).
I always look forward to the summer. I get to add something beneficial to myself. Or even better, remove something unproductive. I’ll literally do anything and everything that you just don’t expect a large, basketball player of Bantu descent to do. And I promise, I don’t do these hippie things to be different. I just want to see if any of these “secrets” really work. Summer goal: Turn into a basketball leviathan. Plan of action: Yoga, diet, meditation, exercise. Notice how the plan of action did not include the sport itself? I’m trying to expand on something new that worked out well for me this year. I executed that plan of action but with flaws.
1. I wasn’t consistent with the yoga. So I plan to go to Austin, where I met a 50-year-old yoga guru who can do backflips. He’s got plans to put me in yoga sessions in a 102 degree room. That ought to be fun… (Insert fart noise with thumb pointed down here).
2. I started the diet thing about this time last year and if you all have followed this journey, you know I am far different now compared to when I started. Won’t beat a dead horse.
3. Meditation… Sorry, can’t make that sound cool. Just trying it because everything else in this way has worked well. The good thing is, if you’re a baller and you don’t wanna try some fad because it sounds like something new to do but doesn’t really work, I’ll be the ginny pig and I’ll let you know. Because if it’s some bovine boo boo, you know I’ll say it.
4. Exercise. I really don’t do much. The biggest thing I think got me physically stronger was Brazilian ju-jitzu. I didn’t really get good at it until I lost weight. I thought at 270 lbs, I’d smack around everyone I saw. Then I tasted a rather delectible headlock from a barely 6-foot, 175 lbs Boricua that put me to sleep. And when I woke up, I was surrounded by Snow White and her seven dwarfs. Then I woke up again. It wasn’t until I was slim that I could actually submit people.
Anyway, that’s the summer plan and I plan to chart and blog about the progress every month, so we can see together whether the mainstream has spewed the garbage we all suspect it has all these years or if the idea of bettering one’s mind, body and spirit through enlightenment is not just a hippie’s LSD fantasy dreamed up in the 70s.
Unfortunately, the only thing I’ve been able to do so far is the diet and keeping up with my yoga everyday. I did the Puerto Rico thing for a second and it was incredible. I think it was the first time I went there and really enjoyed the life it has to offer. I didn’t engulf myself in the blackjack table this time (as is my usual vacation in PR). I just played ball, ate fruits growing on the trees outside (seriously! I didn’t even know mangos grew in PR until this year and I’ve played there eight years), jogged, chilled on the beach and swam in paradise. Now there’s got to be something to this “Qi” thing. I was so relaxed, engergized, at peace, in balance… Man, I don’t know what the hell to call it. I simply felt incredible. I did something I never did in high school, college or pros (not even in China). I had a game I scored 22 points in the first quarter. Now look… Anywhere else and I wouldn’t even have mentioned it. But anyone who knows the PR league, knows that is the second best comp you will get outside the states. Just ask Carlos Arroyo.
Anyway, the point of that was, damn! How the hell could I never do those kinds of things when I was younger, faster, str… Well the answer is, maybe I wasn’t any of those things back then except younger. And dumber, yeah… Maybe dumber. Maybe. I guess all those times my Caucasian bros invited me to the lake in Austin (Mihm, Luke, Ogden… Actually Chris Ogden wanted to go hunting. He just wanted to pull the Dick Cheney on me. But I think he likes me now), I should have gone. God knows they were always less wound up than me. That wasn’t so hard seeing as how I was tighter than… Stop it. I lost track…
Now that I’m done dealing with things like my youngest bro getting jumped by a bunch of backwoods, inbred, cowardice, uneducated Jerry Springer rejects, I can concentrate on the civilized. If you could just step into the courtroom I just left in, ready? Mitchell, South Dakota, you would find it hard not to be as relieved as I am right now. Long story short, my lil’ bro got a crash course in why you shouldn’t feel comfortable in places you might not be welcomed. And even though the (four) guys are on trial now (for a misdemeanor) even though they (49 yrs, 30+, 25 yrs and 23 yrs) jumped a 20-year-old and beat him good enough to break his nose in 2008 in America, I’m not mad. Because when I saw them, they were so pathetic all I could do is laugh and get mad at my brother for not being sober enough to beat the flies off the crippled warthogs when they jumped on him. Lord, if you’re listening can we rewind time and have them jump me? Please? Cause I don’t drink. See how uncivilized and unproductive having to even address this nonsense is? So now I’m back at the house and, like I said, back to the civilized.
Quick…
Did you see KG’s follow-up dunk on Gasol? Da-yum…
Back…
I get to watch Kobe now. Ha! Beat that. I just wish the Lakers could have tied the series. Funny thing is, this is my first time calling the champ in advance. And now, I kinda want them to lose. Sorry, sorry Boston… I know. I just wanted Kobe to get some redemption. And it gets even weirder… I don’t particularly consider myself a Kobe fan. I confuse myself, I swear. I love… Let me rewind. I absolutely enamor Kobe’s game. I think he is the absolute definition of “work equals production.” Have you ever seen a player that makes every move and every shot look like he practiced them each a million times until the very way the ball goes in repeats itself? When John Lucas said Kobe was better than Mike, I thought he was nuts. Whoa tonto… Not saying I think he’s better now but those who believe it. (Deep breathing G) The people who say Kobe and Mike are comparable in skill have an argument and I’ll leave my opinion here now. Fell free to flush at any moment.
Wait… What the hell am I talking about? I just gotta a flash in my head of the final shot MJ made against Utah for the sixth ring. I can’t ya’ll, sorry. I just can’t. He’s the greatest. That’s right, Ironman, Superman and MJ, in that order!! Vete pa’ carajo!
On the cool though, is the series boring to no end unless LA ties it up? Boston seems too big in the paint and too big in the pants to lose. My vote: Put Mbenga, Mihm, Bynum (I know he’s hurt), Odom and Gasol in… At the same time! Oh, that’ll show ‘em! Rebound that, beeeeyaaatch! Please send your medical recommendations to hoopshype@hoopshype.com.
People stay with me here. I’m starting up my ju-jitzu again and staying steady on the yoga and diet and we’ll see what the end product is together. I’m still in the process of finding the balanced “Qi” if it even exists. So I am truly setting in motion the house on the beach thing in Africa so I can find that qi. Tired of talking about it and everyone else I know calling me from there telling me how energizing it is. I’m sending family back home to insure the business in Central Africa continues as planned. Oh by the way… Do not fly Air France. Ever. This is the fifth time I’ve dealt with them and they never disappoint to disappoint. If you play ball and travel like we oversea-ers do and you’ve flown Air France, you know like I know, the customers is always a thorn in the side that if given a chance will piss me off til I strike (again) and throw my gourmet knowledge of cheese and wine in their faces. I love France. I hate Air France. Take the chance if you want so you can see for yourself. But like pops said, (another West African proverb. ready?) commot d biro bros: Ukpana okpoko buru, nti chiri ya. Translation: I gotta get my b.b. gun and take out these damn mockingbirds keep eating my tomatoes and terrorizing kids.
I’ll get back to you on the progress and the translation unless someone beats me to it.
Brian Boitono Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
Gabe good to hear from you
you should be a cage fighter
FLASH Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
Gabe…….interesting, i always vow to do something about my diet in between seasons…….but really i just shoot threes all day, who needs athleticism, defence, and fitness if you’re a good three point shooter.
Just look at KG for examples of keeping ur body right, he can still get his head near the rim when he dunks and he is like 32.
Seriously.
What are your thoughts on James White?
and where is ALL of your YOUTUBE footage???? I wanna see highlights of you playin BALL
FLASH Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Gabe…….interesting, i always vow to do something about my diet in between seasons…….but really i just shoot threes all day, who needs athleticism, defence, and fitness if you’re a good three point shooter.
Just look at KG for examples of keeping ur body right, he can still get his head near the rim when he dunks and he is like 32.
Seriously.
What are your thoughts on James White?
FLASH Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
…..and WHERE ARE ALL YOUR YOUTUBE VIDEOS??????????
everyone wants to see highlights if you playing ball
NerdSuperfly Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
Your Blog is just great …
´nough said!
Scandalo Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
I’ve seen you play and there is no reason why you shouldn’t be on an nba team, that said there r many things that can stop someone from reaching their max. potential. DO YOU BELEILE IN KARMA. LOOK INTO NICHERIN DAICHONINS BUDDHISM.
Jeff T. Said,
June 15, 2008 @ 9:41 pm
‘Sorry to hear about your baby bro - it was cool reading how you’re genuinely bigger than all that crap. Let’s keep hating ignorance instead of each other. Peace.
Omar Aberilla Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 4:48 am
Gabe you ought to be in the NBA. For real. It’s good to know you’re doin’ great in PR basketball-wise and all. Btw, I thought of the Kobe-Mike comparisons myself. It’s not entirely insane. I believe that based on talent and skill and whatever basketball qualities you could think of, they’re comparable. I’d say MJ is more athletic, but Kobe has better handles and shooting range. Incidentally, both men were also disliked early in their careers for a couple of reasons; from being cocky to being selfish to being tough on their teammates to being controversial figures (MJ for gambling, KB for the Colorado incident), etc. They both showed resiliency and the ability to overcome negativity surrounding them and just focus on the game. If you can’t accept the similarities, just imagine MJ at his prime going against Kobe 2K8. You get the picture right? It’s that close. I don’t think MJ would breeze through Kobe like he did against the likes of Glyde, The Glove and Horny. Kobe would have made Jordan work on the defensive end too. MJ obviously has the upperhand for his accolades and accomplishments, which in essence makes him the greatest. Still, pound-for-pound, Kobe matches up well with MJ contrary to consensus thinking.
Omar Aberilla Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 4:49 am
Gabe you ought to be in the NBA. For real. It’s good to know you’re doin’ great in PR basketball-wise and all. Btw, I thought of the Kobe-Mike comparisons myself. It’s not entirely insane. I believe that based on talent and skill and whatever basketball qualities you could think of, they’re comparable. I’d say MJ is more athletic, but Kobe has better handles and shooting range. Incidentally, both men were also disliked early in their careers for a couple of reasons; from being cocky to being selfish to being tough on their teammates to being controversial figures (MJ for gambling, KB for the Colorado incident), etc. They both showed resiliency and the ability to overcome negativity surrounding them and just focus on the game. If you can’t accept the similarities, just imagine MJ at his prime going against Kobe 2K8. You get the picture right? It’s that close. I don’t think MJ would breeze through Kobe like he did against the likes of Glyde, The Glove and Horny. Kobe would have made Jordan work on the defensive end too. MJ obviously has the upperhand for his accolades and his accomplishments, which in essence makes him the greatest. Still, pound-for-pound, Kobe matches up well with MJ contrary to consensus thinking.
Chris R Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 11:43 am
Gabe, I look forward to seeing how this diet turns out. I am a meat lover, and really enjoy everything cow. As for Kobe and MJ? It’s hard to compare for one reason, the style of play. MJ and Kobe get every call, but MJ got FOULED, and kobe gets touched. The game has changed. The part that hasn’t changed, is the part that Kobe still doesn’t get. Being a teammate. MJ got it, and his players did anything to win and felt that he believed in them. Kobe’s teammates know he doesn’t feel that way. As a fan of KG for the past 13 years, along with every other half decent Timberwolves/NBA fan, I can’t wait for Boston to win game 6. Look forward to your future writing.
-Chris
Kevin Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
Great blog! Very enjoyable read.
I like your approach on basketball. Doing everything outside the sport in order to become better at it. I hope things work out for you and I hope you get a big break.
Todd Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
Great blog Gabe,
I love the insight to your offseason regimen. I was wondering your thoughts on non basketball related exercise during the season and off season. You mention ju-jitzu but how about strength training with weights. I am a personal trainer and I feel it helps my recreational bballl game. Do you or other players you play with agree? Keep up the good work, Peace
Todd-1 Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 5:19 pm
Great Blog Gabe,
I love the insight to your offseason regimen. I was wondering your thoughts on non related basketball exercise during the season and offseason. You mention you do ju-jitzu, but how about strength training with weights? Do you or other players strength train? I feel it helps my recreational game a lot. Keep up the good work, Good Luck
Feel free to email back.
Philip Said,
June 16, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
Earth to Gabe, there’s frigging mangoes everywhere in P.R.! and you just noticed? My car’s winshield just got recently smashed by a falling mango.
john murphy Said,
June 17, 2008 @ 11:31 am
what is this kobe, mj crap. first lets get kobe pass dwade. Kobe choked against detroit with shaq a few years ago. dwayne carried shaq vs detroit. Seriously don´t think shaq wouldn´t have not won more rings in la w dwade there. dwade was finals mvp avgs 35 and shooting 70% in finals. mike numbers. compare dwade stats vs kobe 2 years when he was healthy. Don´t get this defensive whiz stuff either.dwade 40-4-11, 35-5-8, kobe 16-2-4, 25-4-8. However kobe desereved mvp this season and may be better scorer. However dwade is winner.
chris mihm Said,
June 18, 2008 @ 1:58 am
[...] invited me to the lake in Austin Mihm, Luke, Ogden?? Actually chris Ogden wanted to go hunting. …http://blogs.hoopshype.com/blogs/muoneke/2008/06/15/off-the-wall-thoughts-and-kb24/Celtics’ Powe makes name for himself The Santa Rosa Press DemocratBOSTON — Phil Jackson [...]
Africanballer Said,
June 18, 2008 @ 3:27 am
Hi Gabe,
nice article, I realised you’re just like me, I’m not a Kobe fan but I respect him alot, and I feel for him, this would’ve been a chance to redeem himself after all critics, to win a title without Shaq, but it didn’t happen so the saga continues. But on comparison to MJ i don’t know. MJ was MJ and kobe’s kobe, it’s best left at that.
Duam Said,
June 21, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
Good one Gabe. Been following your blog ’silently’ for a while now. You’ve got beaucoup talent but I worry that you may be insane and don’t even know it. Keep it up!
MJ, Kobe debate… gotta go with MJ.
Both killers. Kobe has the greater plethora of skills, but MJ was more skilled with his limited set. Absolutely nobody can match MJ’s untouchable turnaround jumper with the shoulder fake. MJ was also more sophisticated about the game as a whole. Kobe is just beginning to understand how to use his teamates. If I had to pick between the two to make the best out of his talents and win a series, I would go with MJ.
Head to head… now that’s interesting. I’ve always believed part of MJ’s dominance was because he was a 6′6″ shooting guard playing against 6′4-6′5 opponents. The league has changed. Kobe, Lebron, TMac- these guys are 6′8/6′9 playing guard with athleticism and skill. MJ would not dominate today’s players. I would (rashly) take Kobe one-on-one against MJ. Ironically, Jordan was the inspiration for those guys to develop guard skills.
I root for Kobe. Nothing is more difficult than publicly stating your intention to supercede a legendl then going out and doing it or at least coming close. The pressure! The haters! That is why I would carry Tiger’s jock strap any day. It ain’t over yet. Kobe still has a few more gears in him.
Peace out
(Back to Naija - make i follow dem chop dis oil money!)
new jersey fun places Said,
July 5, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
new jersey fun places…
You must put a lot of work into blogging this much!…
Andy Said,
August 21, 2008 @ 1:14 am
Hello Gabe,
Did you play with Hamed Ehadadi in the Middle East?
Think he’ll have success in the NBA (if he ever makes it over)?