The power of ‘no’
Joakim Noah is finishing up his second season in the NBA – and he still finds one of the hardest parts of his professional life to be saying one simple word: No.
Kendrick Perkins is finishing up his sixth season in the NBA – and, by his own admission, he never said ‘no’ enough early in his career. Now, he does.
“A lot of guys have trouble saying ‘no’ until they figure out that it’s not an insult,’’ Perkins, the Celtics’ center said.
Hitting upon impressionable young players, many of whom have come into substantial amounts of money for the first times in their lives, is nothing new. Managing money – and teaching players to say ‘no’ - is an essential part of the NBA’s transition program for rookies, in which the league imports current players, veteran players and anyone else who can speak to them about what lies ahead.
The players are told they’re about to discover long-lost relatives and newfound friends. They are advised to be wary and careful. Mike Bantom, a former NBA player who runs the transition program, got a chuckle when he was told about Noah’s recent comments, which came in the form of an interview with the Washington Post.
“We tell them all this stuff, but we know it’s never going to register until they actually have to go through it,’’ Bantom said. “What he said to that reporter (sample “it’s hard to say no to somebody that you grew up with your whole life and you know they’re in a situation”) is what we said to him, verbatim. Your inability to say ‘no’ is going to take control of your life if you allow it to. So you better learn.
“But it’s kind of like with your own kids. It won’t register until it actually happens. Hopefully, by then, after what we’ve said, it makes it easier for them,’’ Bantom said.
Perkins heard all the same talk when he attended the transition program. Then he promptly went out and basically ignored all the well-intentioned advice.
“At the beginning, every one I knew had a hand out and I was spending like $200 and $300 a week. That adds up. It got to $11,000 a month. That adds up too,’’ Perkins said. “You have to learn to distance yourself from people, even if that means staying inside at home more. You know, out of sight, out of mind? That first year in the league was tough for me. You’re worried about offending people if you say no. But you eventually learn that you have to do it.”
In Perkins’ case, he was a quiet, Texan who had been raised by his grandparents, unaccustomed to luxuries that are now a part of his life. He entered the NBA right out of high school, even though his prospective college coach, John Calipari, told Perkins he’d be a lottery pick if he went to Memphis for even one year.
Perkins ended up getting drafted No. 27 overall in 2003.
Noah grew up in the spotlight; his father was a professional tennis player and winner of the French Open. Noah also is outgoing, engaging and the kind of individual who might attract the very people the NBA says like to prey on kids.
“I know Joakim. He’s a very personable guy,’’ Bantom said. “We’ve had a number of conversations. At the rookie transition program, we brought in Bill Russell to speak and Joakim asked if he could meet him, personally. So we arranged that. But his personality means he is going to come into contact with more “so-called friends” than a lot of other guys who aren’t as outgoing. You can’t stop living your life. You have to be who you are. But a lot of these guys are 19, 20 years old and we’re asking that they act like mature adults.”
It would be inaccurate to say these problems are limited to the young players, either. They aren’t. Dominique Wilkins for years in the NBA had to deal with an ever-demanding family. Longtime veteran Harvey Catchings got talked into a shaky and ultimately unsuccessful business deal even as his agent pleaded with him not to do it.
Former player agent Steve Kauffman recalled a recent example of a player, who he would not name, who had just retired and whose money was being sought to help finance a hotel deal. Kauffman had several experienced people look at the proposal and every one of them said it looked suspicious. All recommended the player not invest.
But the promoters pushing the product got the ears of the player.
“He spent $250,000,’’ Kauffman said. “And he never saw a dime of it.”
As long as the NBA continues to guarantee large sums of money to unproven players, many of them callow and naïve, there will always be vultures lurking. The league has taken more steps to help the kids, Bantom said, including have representatives in each NBA city.
“They are there to help. But they also are there to be observant because some of these kids might want to ask, but are afraid to do so because it would be embarrassing,’’ Bantom said.
The phrase “Just Say No’’ might sound simplistic; it didn’t work in the drug wars after all. But as the go-to phrase for NBA newcomers, it could and should resonate.
It may take them time, like it did for Perkins, but eventually the message got through to him. Noah should know he’s not alone out there, not only in terms of potentially shady company, but also in terms of others who’ve been there, done that, and can help.
“A lot of guys feel an obligation to have to say ‘yes’ to everyone, but you shouldn’t feel that obligation towards anyone but those who are close to you, important to you,” Perkins said. “Were they there for you when you didn’t have anything? It took me awhile to figure that out.”
Sarah Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 12:31 am
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Sarah
http://www.craigslisttool.info
Bhavik Patel Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 3:53 am
I wish magic johnson started up a money managment firm for NBA players. When Magic played in the league the salaries and endorsement deals were not as lucrative and look at his fortune today. If i was an NBA player I would definatly want to get some advice from him. He has a greater net worth than any other NBA player in history and he made a fraction of it playing basketball. The income from basketball allowed him to build his fortune. Thats why i dont understand players like Scottie Pippen and Laterrel Sprewell who go broke after the NBA. its cause they get swindled out of their money because they are naive in who they invest with.
Sarah Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 5:16 am
The problem for Noah is that he never “had nothing” so that trick doesn’t work for him….
Yelito Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 9:21 am
It’s sad, but that happens a lot with black folks in every sport. They come from poverty and once they are “made”, people (including family) try to hold to them like ticks in a stray dog. The sad part is that once any of this guys get broke, there’s no one to give them a hand. My advice is to say no to everybody, only help your parents and close family ( not the twice remove cousins!) and if you want to be generous, found a foundation already establish or make your own as long as it is legitimate.
Porky Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 9:35 am
Patel- you assume Pippen and Choker were “swindled”. How do you know? Could it be they were idiots with their money- spending it like water? Please investigate this matter further and report back to me by the end of the week.
Sue Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 10:38 am
I can only speak as a family member. The whole family is affected by their sons becoming millionaires. People expect that the family is rich because the son is rich. The son takes cares of his immediate family but it cause headaches because of people expectation. Some families already had a middleclass lifestyle so it wasn’t much change except maybe upgrading a house or car, but at the same live the life they were living before. Not only do the player distant himself, I found myself distanting myself from people who were there for the wrong reason. No I will not ask my son for money for this or that, yes, people will befriend you to get to your son. I have seen it and I try to tell my son what I see, but sometime they have to find out for themselves. I can say that my son is very protective of his money. He also said do not bring him any proposals and a person don’t have the same amount of money to invest twhat they are asking him, so that stop everything at the door. It is a learning curve for some and hopefully they have good trustworthy financial advisors.
Dino Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 10:44 am
lol Porky… could it be that u’re a nerd, using official language to boost your self-esteem?
Today’s Links 4/7 at New England Sports 24/7 Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 10:55 am
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Trevin James Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 11:42 am
Scottie definitely got swindled into a lot of shady deals. Dude lost a ton of money Porky. Check out this link: http://lioninoil.blogspot.com/2007/02/comebacks-and-comebacks.html. Unfreaking believable!!!
KZM Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 12:56 pm
Porky– there has been numerous details on Scottie Pippen’s money problems from a “swindleing” investment advisor whom raked him of most of his net worth. Pippen also sued him a few years ago and I believe the case settled. Search Chicago Tribune archives.
Max in Missouri Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
Good contribution, Sarah. It doesn’t look at all like you are just trying to promote your website
I don’t see how so many NBA players are this horrible with their money. I mean, a lot of celebrities and pro athletes have monetary issues, but it seems much more prevalent in the NBA. Why don’t these ppl study up on players like Kenny Anderson, Derrick Coleman, Jason Caffey etc….. It just seems so foolish that they don’t know somewhat better.
Chitown Tommy Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 1:01 pm
It is well known that Pippen’s money manager stole from him. He also sued his former law firm for losing ~$27 million in bad investments. So at least in Pip’s case, it wasn’t simply spending it like water.
http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1153364/8/index.htm
LinkedOnSports.com| The Issues For Young NBA Stars Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
[...] The power of ‘no’ [HoopsHype] Share and Enjoy: [...]
Big J Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 3:10 pm
The power of no!I KNOW this for a fact it’s not the family who are the ones who the young players need to say no 2.Many young players pay their agents large sums and also their boys who don’t have a job but they hang around living the life. Next time your at a allstar game look at the agents and the boys and then look at the family and u tell me who’s walking away with the cash. The player need to an good agent like Lon Babby who charges a tenth of what the other agents are charging. They need a good financial person and marketing people.Lebron don’t pay your agent nothing on your next deal my parot can say MAX! I look at people like Ray Allen and Tim Duncan that have figured this out, hell people thing Gilbert Arenas is alittle crazy but even he was smart enough get 120mil deal done without a agent.
Big J Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 3:30 pm
once again it’s not the families who are the ones getting paid. I’m very close to a family member who’s a superstar and if I tell u his name u all would know him. My advice to him was pay your agent what he deserve and nothing more because there’s agents that can get it done for far less, never give power of attorney to anyone,have good financial people. Tell your boys to get a job and get them off the pay roll. Learn 2 say know and be honest with your family, say no and say hell no if needed. Don’t run and hide from the ones who truely love u. Them are the ones who will love u when money not coming n any more. Believe me I’ve seen it all. The family gets blamed when things go wrong and in honest the agents gets rich some of the women get rich and the boys live good not working and driving BMW’s and Range Rovers the family gets the crumbs!
Courtney Johnson Williams Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
MY NEIGHBOR LOOL LIKE JOAKIM NOAH
Fredd Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 4:53 pm
Nice post Big J
Jaredallas Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
Everyone–athletes, musicians, film stars, doctors, strippers, school teachers–everyone is trying to reach a level of comfort financially. One of two things happen once one reaches that higher echelon of earning power: either the person achieves that ideal of comfort and rests on his laurels and spends money foolishly (naming oneself a victim of “swindling” is the clever way of blaming someone else for one’s own foolishness) or the person becomes prudently covetous and guards his wealth fervently. If someone is fortunate enough to endure the former without losing everything, he typically will transition to the latter.
My point: It has less to do with race or occupation or even upbringing as it has to do with the effect of wealth on the human mind. Why does it always perplex people when athletes undergo the same said frailty that is common to nearly everyone.
“What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly.” Thomas Paine
Twitty Said,
April 7, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
NBA players need to say NO to the girlfriends and mistresses. These are the true culprits that perpetuate the best of the manipulation of money from the players. To see a woman manipulate a guy from the inside is discouraging. It’s a bad place for a person who truly cares for the player be in. The woman in most situations controls everything. Now this is fine as long as the woman is ethically sound. But mind you most of these woman come from other manipulative woman and what the player doesn’t know is that he’s being double teamed.
It is the women that in most cases influence the financial decisions as far as who gets what or shall I say how much. Someone players are distanced from their family at the hands of their wives/girlfriends. NBA guys live simple lives. Practice, road, travel, hotel, games and sleep. Anyone who knows an NBA’er knows these guys pretty much live a care free, lazy lifestyle (especially during the season). They need good competent people around them to do the things they either don’t want to do, or dont have time to. However, with greedy selfish materialistic women controlling every dollar going out to anyone other than themselves OR their family, there’s not much left. It’s so bad that some NBA players can only spend money on a credit card so that their spending can be monitored by the wife. And why is? Because the women guilt trip they players. This is how it’s done. Don’t believe, ask a player.
Suggestive test, compare the livestyle of an NBA player’s mom (and immediate family) against the lifestyle of the NBA player’s wife’s mom (and her immediate family). There’s no way it should be even. In some cases the wife’s mom has more.
You ask how does this happen, one way is because NBA players cheat a lot. They cheat on the road, they cheat in town. The wives and girlfriends know this. But what can they do? Leave (yeah, right). They just complain about everything else and try to eliminate as many people and avenues that enable to player to cheat from their man’s life as possible Thus, out of guilt and fatigue from listening to all the complaining they allow the women in their lives to control them. This for the player, quiets the house and evens the playing field for the woman.
It’s really sickening to see the woman create distance in families and friends. Trust me it’s not the player’s boys, its the ones that share the bedroom’s with the players. They truly have their ear. You can usually tell the gold digging manipulating vixens by the big diamond rings, expensive weave, gucci bags, range rovers and manolo blanik heals.
Chris Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 9:56 am
These guys didn’t get to the NBA by being rocket scientists.
Sue Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 10:01 am
Well said Twitty,
Rashidi Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 10:36 am
Here’s an idea then.
Don’t keep girlfriends if you don’t intend on being faithful to them.
Aaron Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 12:18 pm
How about this for an idea….
live BELOW your means. Wanna know how to stay financially comfortable? Wanna keep from being sucked dry?
Dont buy the big house, dont buy the crazy expensive car, dont by the JETS, dont pick up the check all the time, dont buy all the drinks at the bar.
Live financially resonsible. Buy your needs and a few wants. Being smart with your money now will allow you (and your family) to live comforably when you are older. You can NEVER know what financial situations may present themselves in the future.
B-Ball Knowledge Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
Jaredallas is spot-on with his/her assessment.
Not quite sure if anyone’s heard of Bernie Madoof, but he’s the guy that “swindled” billions of dollars from thousand’s of investors. His clientele probably didn’t include the entire NBA….. actually, it probably didn’t include even 0.1% of the NBA…. but he still was able to get over on some very astute business men and women (and corporations).
NBA players are no different than the rest of us, other than they have a talent that very few have and they’re able to receive great compensation for it. They’re no different than the best of the best CEO’s or actors or surgeons or chefs or singers in the world. You have something no one else has, and for that you’ll be greatly rewarded.
They make decisions in the same manner as we all have. We get advice when we lack the know how to figure it out ourselves. We have to trust those around us to guide us when necessary, and if they have ulterior motives, we can all be led astray.
A young, highly sought after athlete is a lightning rod for attention, both good and bad, and if we were to change positions with them, we’d realize that we wouldn’t be more ready to handle the attention.
So some folks need to wake up, realize that celebrities (which these guys are) are targeted by family, friends, groupies, their alma mater, their agents, their team reps, their church….they can’t say no to everyone. It’s just not realistic. They have to give in every now and then, and hope that they’ve done enough fact checking that they’re confident in making the best decision for themselves and the person(s) with their hand out.
B-Ball Knowledge Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
BTW…. I know everyone knows who Madoff is, I was just being facetious.
something Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 12:55 pm
rashidi thats so easy to say, until you actually live the lifestyle. as for money management, its not particularly true that you will spend less or more, just spend what you are comfortable with and save up, the wealth effect only happens if you let it get to your head.
Floyd Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 9:39 pm
Twitty nailed it.
Bitches, man.
“It Got to $11,000 a Month”–Kendrick Perkins | Celtics Hub Said,
April 9, 2009 @ 1:14 pm
[...] Perk talking to Peter May (of Boston Globe fame) on HoopsHype this week about his money management during his first year in the [...]
Chucky Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 3:38 pm
A fool and his money are soon parted.
Brian Boitono Said Said,
April 11, 2009 @ 6:54 pm
When im not on the ice. I run with a pretty hefty crew. I have a lot of hanger-ons, but most of them serve a purpose. I like to Keep a stable of young tail in every major city in N America. Then of course ive had a couple of one and done’s with the likes of Yamaguchi and Kerrigan. Keep a decent stable of clam can get expensive so I like to split them with some of my skating friends to keep costs low.
rookierosepetals Said,
April 24, 2009 @ 11:22 am
These guys might be young but they’re not dumb, they know full well whose been in their cheering section long before pro jersey hung in their locker. Veteran players should take the newbies under their wing. It might sound soft but just helping them set themselves up financially helps you bond, oh yeah chemistry is important in basketball. Check out who is leading the way in the MVP race on the daily ball breakers site.